I A Big Boy
by spottedhorse
Summary: Part of the Mattie storyline but I'll warn you...not so much the happy antics. More of real life issues for the family. Mattie and Gil take on more responsibilities as a result of Cahterine's big news. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

The Grissom family sat at various spots around the living room. Lindsey was looking at her parents in disbelief. Mattie was bouncing with glee. Gil looked a little nervous but generally happy and Catherine looked a little green. "Yes, Lindsey...you heard us correctly. I'm pregnant." replied the teen's mother.

Lindsey wasn't really all that surprised. They couldn't seem to keep their hands off of each other. At home, when they thought no one was watching they were...well, the PDAs were a lot grosser than anything she saw in the halls at school; or that she had seen last week on her double date with her friend Caroline. The were like...like, animals. At first she had thought it was so romantic they way the pursued each other. Then she thought it was funny. Now it just seemd disgusting. Old people weren't supposed to act like that. And they were old...Dad was in his fifties, for gosh sakes. Men in their fifties aren't supposed to be able to do that; at least not without help from the little blue pills. Lindsey had ransacked their room and bathroom looking for his stash of little blue pills. She had thought that if she got rid of them then maybe she could get some sleep at night. But she never found any and never saw any signs that he ever took any pills, except for his migraines. And now,,,oh gosh, how embarrassing; Mom was pregnant...again! Lindsey would never be able to live this down at school.

Mattie was so excited he couldn't sit still. He had asked for a baby and now he was getting one. A baby brother would be great! But Mommy warned him that he might get a baby sister and that she would need loving too. "Okay, he had agreed. I'll love it if's a sister too." Daddy seemed happy but Mattie sensed that he wasn't as happy as Mattie was. Daddy had a funny expression whenever he looked at Mommy. It wasn't one of his playtime funny expressions, it was more like his funny expressions whenever Lindsey went on a date or if Mattie was sick. Daddy was happy but part of him wasn't.

Gil watched his wife closely these days. They were well past the prime years for childbearing and he was afraid. There were so many things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. And even if they made it through, there were so many things that could be wrong with the baby. They both had accepted the possibility of complications with any children when she had been pregnant with Mattie. Besides the usual issues for a woman in her forties, and Cath had been just into her forties, there was the sure knowledge that Gil carried a bomb in his gene pool. One day any child he produced might have to face the possibility of deafness, just as he had done a few years ago. Gil's only comfort from the guilt that he felt was the knowledge that science was creating solutions to a problem for which his mother had found no options. For Gil, a surgery had solved or at least delayed the problem. For his children, he hoped the solution would be easy and permanent. Right now he worried more about Catherine. Already it seemd to him that this pregnancy was harder on her.

Catherine knew her husband was worried. He seemed happy on the surface, but worry lines were becoming more prominant in his features. And he watched her constantly. She understood his worry. She had many of the same worries. But right now she just felt so tired, all she wanted to do was sleep. "Lindsey, I'm really going to need help from you with the house. I know you have so many things going on with your friends and I want you to be able to enjoy them. But I really can't handle it all right now."

Lindsey, for the first time, realized just how rough her mom looked. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked like she would hurl any minute. "Sure Mom, we'll figure it out. I know Dad will help when he's home and when he's at work, I'll be sure to be here. And Mattie can help with a few things too. He's getting bigger."

Mattie beamed. "I a big boy."

They all smiled. "Yes, you are getting to be a big boy," his father commented. "And so you will have a few things that will be your responsibility. I think you can take over the trash detail from Lindsey. And you can help fold laundry too. I'm sure we'll think of other ways you can help, but we'll start with those two."

Later that night, as Gil and Catherine relaxed in their bed, she addressed his worry. "Gil, I know you are worried. So am I. But the doctor says everything is okay and she's given me a list of things to do to help us through and a list of things to watch for. We've already done the screening test with the blood sample. She hasn't decided if amniocentisis will be necessary or not. But we're watching the situation. This won't be easy, but we're on top of it."

He had his arm wrapped around her, protectivly. "I know. It's just...You seem so tired and you're sicker than you were with Mattie. I just don't like waht this is doing to you. I don't want you to have to go through all this."

"What are you saying Gil? That you think we shouldn't have this baby?"

"Part of me thinks that, Cath...sometimes; especially when you are in the bathroom sick or when you are so tired you can't even eat. But...neither of us believes that's the right choice." He held her closer to him."I just love you so much and if..." he couldn't bring himself to say out loud his greatest fear in all this.

"It won't happen Gil. No matter what else happens, you won't lose me in all of this."

"I know we both want to believe that, but we both know it's...this is risky."

"You just hold onto me Gil. I'm not going anywhere as long as you hold on."

He wrapped her in both of his arms and held her as closely as he could, surrounding her with his warmth. "Always. You are my life."

"You know Gil, this isn't as risky as it used to be. I mean, all those stories we used to hear...they just don't happen as much anymore."

"No, not as much..." He still held her tightly.

The next day at work, he sat at his computer, researching the risks. He didn't like the statistics he read. Between the ages of 40 and 45, the risk for chromosomal problems went from 1 in 100 to 1 in 30. Cath was in the middle of that range. The were all kinds of other problems listed also. Miscarriage caught his attention...50. He knew what a miscarraige would do to her. She'd never be convinced that it wan't her fault in some way. His heart was in his stomach. Picking up the phone, he called Ecklie's office. The secretary gave him an appointment for later that afternoon.

That night, when everyone was tucked in for the night Gil sat down with his Love to tell her what he had done. "You did what?" she exclaimed.

"I took a leave of absence...until the baby is born and everyone is okay."

"Gil?"

"Catherine...I want to be here...not at the lab. Nick is taking over as acting supervisor. I'll be available for consultation but I won't be keeping regular hours. Cath, I need to do this. I need to be here for you. And I need to be here for my own sake. This...you...are the most important thing in my life. I have to be here."

Catherine looked at her husband in true amazement. For years, his life had been the lab. And today he had simply walked away from it...for her, and for their baby. "Well, then tomorrow you can go with me to the doctor. Maybe she can talk some sense into you." But she smiled as she said it.

"I love you Cath and we're doing this thing together."

"I love you too, Gil. And...thank you."

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More?????? There's the review button...


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Gil was up and fully into Dad mode. He helped Mattie get dressed and then fed the kids breakfast. Lindsey headed off to school with her friends and he drove Mattie to his school. "I'll see you at noon, Mattie."

"Mommy always picks me up."

"Well at least for now, I'll be doing that. We need to let Mommy rest as much as she can."

"Okay," the boy smiled. "Is it hard work, growing a baby?"

"Very hard, Mattie. That's why we are going to do everything we can to help Mommy, okay? That's what men do."

Mattie was beaming. "Okay." He turned and walked into his classroom.

Back home, Gil fixed some toast and tea for Catherine. She was still having trouble in the mornings but he wanted her to try to eat something. They showered and dressed and headed to the doctor's office.

"I'm glad you came along this time, Gil," the doctor said. "Catherine's going to need a lot of help and support."

Catherine shot Gil a warning look as he smirked next to her. In his mind he was teasing her, _see... I told you so._ But he knew not to say anything aloud.

"Well, let's see...Gil, why don't you wait in my office while I do an exam on Catherine and then I'll send a nurse to get you. I think we'll go ahead and do a sonogram today."

Gil waited rather impatiently but after a few minutes that seemed like hours, a nurse showed him into the room for the sonogram. Catherine was already on the table. He found a place beside her where he could be close and still see the moniter. They had done sonograms with Mattie so he knew the routine, but it was all still very exciting for him.

The technician prepared Catherine and then sat down to start the test. As she moved the sensor over Catherine, Gil studied the screen to see if he could make out their baby. It all seemed very fuzzy and confusing to him though. Quietly the tech put the sensor down and walked to the door. She called for the doctor, who came in almost immediately. "Yes?" she asked her tech.

"Thought you might want to take a look," replied the tech.

She picked up her tool and repeated the test. The doctor stood quiety and watched the screen, along with Catherine and Gil. "Doc, something is different. This doesn't look like what I remember from Mattie's sonograms at all."

The doctor turned and smiled at them. "It is different. We've discussed many of the statistics about bearing children while in your forties, but there is one that I didn't cover. Catherine, Gil...you are looking at twins."

Gil's mouth fell open. He stood next to his wife, stunned and speechless. Catherine was stunned also. "Twins?" she asked nervously.

"Yes. The chances of muliple births increase as you get older."

Gil was trying to recover. "You mean there's two of them?" he stammered.

"Yes, Gil. Two." The doctor was amused by his reaction.

"B...b...but...how did this happen?"

"Gil we've discussed this before," chimed in Catherine. "You got all amorous and then..."

"I know that, Cath...but twins?"

"Gil," the doctor said calmly, "Take a breath and then listen to me. The chance of multiple births increases after the age of forty...quite a bit, actually. You and Catherine have just come up against that statistic."

Gil really was trying to breathe. He looked from the doctor to Catherine to the screen. "Can you tell...I mean..."

"No, it's too early to tell about their sex yet. And often with twins, it is hard to know anyway. They tend to hide things from us. Besides, odds a re these are fraternal so you might have one of each. But as Catherine gets farther along, we'll have a better chance to find out. Right now we need to talk about this in terms of what it means for Catherine."

That got Gil's attention. His blue eyes fastened on the doctor as he waited to hear what she said.

"Catherine, I want you to really take things easy. No household chores, no lifting, no work, and plenty of rest. Prop your feet up as much as you can. No long shopping trips...in fact I'd like you to try to spend half of your day resting or at least lounging with your feet up. I'm very serious about this. Multiples are an increased risk for you and we are going to be very sure that nothing bad happens." She looked at Gil.

He nodded that he understood. "She'll rest Doc, if I have to tie her to the bed."

"What about Mattie? He's a very precocious little fellow and Catherine should not be stressing over his antics or picking him up."

"I've already taken a leave from work, so I'll be at home to see about Mattie...and everything else. And if I can't handle that and taking care of Cath too, then I'll hire someone for the household chores. But Catherine will get the rest she needs. She's going to do everything just as you tell her to do, Doc." The tone of his voice let Catherine know that there would be no room for negotiation.

"Good. And Catherine, I'll warn you now. At some point later on I will probably put you on complete bedrest. We'll do an amniosentisis in a few weeks and see what that tells us. And we are going to watch your blood work and blood pressure very closely. I don't want to frighten you but I do want you to understand that between your age and carrying twins, we are entering a higher risk category. The good news is that you are in excellent health from the beginning. That's always a plus."

Catherine felt very nervous. She glanced at Gil who was taking in every word and she could see the fear building in him. She was actually more worried about him than anything else.

"Doc?" he asked in a quiet voice. "Wh..what are the odds here...I mean of everything turning out okay?"

"I'd say they are very good if Catherine gets the rest she needs and doesn't do anything too strenuous. And I know she can depend on you for support Gil. I remember how supportive you were with Mattie." She smiled. "Any more questions?"

Catherine shyly looked at Gil. "What about sex?" He flinched at her words.

"Well, we don't want you to miss out on any fun stuff, Catherine. For now, I'd say it is okay. Nothing too wild or crazy and if anything makes you uncomfortable, it's probably a bad idea. You shouldn't be on bottom. And at some point I'm going to advise you to stop. But for now, use common sense and enjoy each other. In some ways, this will be a tough time for you and your family. Sex is a great stress buster."

Gil had a strange expression. Catherine knew he was wondering why she had asked. She knew that his fears would act as huge restraints on his drive. But she wanted him to hear that it was okay, at least for now. She was going to need him close and she suspected that he would have the same feelings too.

After the doctor's visit, Gil took Catherine home. He made a huge fuss about her resting and they finally compromised that she would rest on the couch with her feet propped up and reading a book. Satisfied that she was behaving, he headed out to get her prescriptions filled and pick up Mattie from school. At the pharmacy, he was handed a bag with various bottles of vitamins and other prenatal meds. All of the pills looked huge to him and he was already planning how to approach Catherine on swallowing all of those pills. Mattie was excited to see him and rambled all the way homw as he told his Daddy about everything that happened at school. As they got closer to home, Gil pulled into a park. "Mattie, you and I need to talk."

Mattie stopped chattering and saw the seriousness of his father's expression. More than that, he heard the worry in his father's voice. For once the child was quiet and focused on what he was being told.

"Son, Mommy and I went to see her doctor this morning. She told us something that is very exciting. Mommy had two babies growing inside her."

Mattie's face lit up. "Two?"

"Yes, we call them twins when that happens. Twins means two. But the thing is...as hard as it is to grow one baby, it is really hard to grow two. Mommy is going to need a lot of rest. And we are going to have to be very careful about taking good care of her. And Mattie," he paused to be sure the boy was listening,"you are going to have to be very careful when you are around Mommy. No rough play, no bouncing on her or around her. Understand?"

"Yes...gentle."

"That's right. You can hug her... she'll really need hugs. And you can cuddle with her, but not in her lap...beside her. You can hold her hand and I know she'll like it if you tell her how much you love her. And she'll want to hear all about your day at school. And when she is tired, we're going to need to be quiet."

"I can be quiet." His face was somber and serious. Daddy was talking man talk to him and Mattie wanted to be a good man.

"Mattie, it's going to be hard to remember all of this, but I know you can do it. Mommy will have an easier time growing the twins if we remember, okay?"

"Okay Daddy. We'll remember...and we'll take good care of Mommy. That's what men do, right Daddy?"

"Right son, men take good care of their women." Tears formed in Gil's eyes. He was proud of Mattie. The little guy was taking in some serious grwon up stuff here and he was understanding that it was important. Gil just hoped that he could remember to follow through.

When they arrived home, Mattie took off running into the house. Gil tried to catch him, but he wa too fast. Mattie ran into the living room and almost up to the couch and then abruptly stopped about five feet away from Catherine. He smiled at her."Hi Mommy."

She was smiling. "Hi Mattie. How was school?"

He walked over to her and very gently hugged her.The he sat next to her on the couch, careful to not bump her. "It was good," he said in a very quiet voice.

Really? What did you do...I want to hear all about it."

Mattie started telling her about his morning. He told her about his lessons, about his friend Robyn and how she shared her bananna snack with him, and about how he hung upside down on the bars outside. They had watered the garden and picked some vegetables. Gavin had complained that he didn't like zukinki but when Ms. Ethel cooked it special for them for a special snack, Gavin liked it. He said Ms. Edna had a magic trick to make it taste good.

"Did you like the zucchini, Mattie?"

"It was okay. But I like the bell peppers better," he grinned. "And in a few days the carrots will be ready."

Gil had fixed lunch for Mattie and brought it to him on the couch."We'll make an exception this time, Mattie, and let you eat here instead of the table. But then you and Mommy both need a nap."

"Okay," he said as he began eating. Gil had put some baby carrots on his plate and he turned to share one with his mother. "You need to eat your vegetables, Mommy. They are good for you." He smiled and handed her another one. "And one for the babies too."

After lunch Gil followed Mattie to his room to be sure he settled down for a nap. "Daddy?"

"Yes..."

"Did I do good?"

"You were very good Mattie. Thank you."

"I want to help Mommy."

"Yeah, we all do. And you are doing a good job. If we all help, then Mommy will be able to concentrate on growing the babies."

"Okay...after nap can I do my chores?"

Gil had almost forgotten that Mattie was getting new chores in all this. "Sure. I'll show you what you need to do and help you with it today. Then tomorrow, we'll let you try it on your own."

"...kay," he said sleepily. Gil quietly left the room, letting Mattie drift off to sleep.

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Okay? How am I doing? The review monster needs feeding.


	3. Chapter 3

Gil was in the kitchen, putting together a cassarole for dinner, when Mattie woke from his nap. He wandered in and silently watched his Daddy make the food. "Did you have a good nap, Mattie?"

"Uh-huh," the boy nodded, wide eyed and still groggy.

"Good. I'm putting together some food for tonight. We're having chicken and broccoli casserole. How's that sound?"

"Okay." He was becoming more alert. "Where's Mommy?"

"Still resting. But I'm sure she'll wake up soon."

Mattie looked around the kitchen. He turned and ran to the bathroom and then reapppeared a few minutes later, his hands still wet from having washed them. Walking to the fridge, he opened the door and took out a plastic container that had grapes in it. Gil realized that Mattie was getting some of the food that Catherine always kept for him to snack on. She had fixed some fruits and vegetables in containers in the fridge and he had a container of acceptable snacks in the pantry. Leaving the container on the table, he went to the dishwasher and opened the door. Inside he found the little rectangular tupperware plate that he used for snacks. After depositing that on the table, he went back to the fridge and got two more containers. Then he went to the pantry and got the jar of peanut butter. All the items were set on the table. Opening the drawer, he retrieved one of his child safe knives and walked back to the table. Carefully he opened the containers and put small servings of the items on his plate. He included grapes, baby carrots, and celery sticks. Then he spread peanut butter on the celery. After he was satisfied with his effort, he took the containers back to the fridge and returned the peanut butter to the pantry. He fished in his snack box and came out with a little bag of crackers. Those were placed carefully on the plate also. Heading back to the dishwasher, he found one of his small glasses and carried it to the table. Back in the fridge, he found his 'Mattie sized' pitcher of juice and poured some in his glass. He arranged that on his plate. He looked at his father and smiled. "Mommy's snack," he said.

Gil had been intrigued to watch his snack operation but was bowled over by the fact that Mattie had prepared it for his mother."That's great, Mattie. I know she will be hungry when she wakes up."

The child very carefully picked up the plate and slowly walked towards the bedroom. Gil followed, just in case. He pushed open the door so that Mattie would have a smooth entry and then the boy carefully set the plated down on the bedside table. Turning towards his mother, he gently leaned on the bed, his arms crossed and his chin on his hands. Satisfied that Mattie was calm and quiet, Gil returned to his work in the kitchen.

Mattie watched his mother sleep for a few minutes. Slowly she became aware that she was being watched and her eyes fluttered open. She was greeted by a miniature pair of the eyes that she had so happily become accustomed to waking up to. He was smiling as he saw her awaken. She smiled at him and then scooted to a sitting position. Patting the bed, she invited him to climb in with her. He eased up carefully and wiggled close to her. "I brought you snack," he beamed.

"You did?"

He pointed to the plate and then looked at her, still smiling. She hugged him and then suggested, "I'm going to go to the bathroom and then why don't we enjoy it together?"

"Okay."

Once she was back in the bed they crunched and chewed through the goodies. He said he like the carrots the best. She was enjoying the grapes. He insisted that she drink the juice. He would get some later. Once they had finished, he climbed down and took the plate. "I'll take it back to the kitchen," he said in his biggest boy voice.

Catherine watched as he carefully walked out of the room. _For all of his antics and mischief,_ she thought_, he can be so sweet...just like his father._

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Yeah, this one is short. But I wanted it to be about Mattie's snack. Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

Lindsey came in from school and found her mom on the living room couch. Gil was with Mattie, explaining the trash detail that would now become Mattie's responsibility. _At least one good thing is coming out of theis pregnancy thing,_ she thought. _I won't have to worry about the trash anymore._

Catherine asked her daughter about her day and Lindsey sat to chat for a few minutes. By then the guys had come into the room and joined them. It was then that Catherine told Lindsey that she was carrying twins. Gil explained that the doctor wanted Catherine to get lots of rest and so things would be a little quiter for a few months...until the babies arrived, of course.

Lindsey was upset by the news. Setting aside all of her own considerations, she was worried about her mother. Catherine reassured her that everything would be fine but Lindsey wasn't really convinced. "Well, I have loads of homework. I think I'll get started before dinner," she said. Then she headed to her room.

Suppper was quiet. Mattie seemed to be the only one who wanted to talk much. Catherine was feeling restless and couldn't seem to follow his conversation. Gil was worrying again. And Lindsey was lost in thoughts about the potential problems for her mother. She'd spent time online instead of doing homework. What she found was scary. She had known that pregnancy after forty was risky, but she hadn't realized how much. Although the internet sites did say that many women go through it without any complications. _Thing is_, she thought, _Mom is never without complications_.

After the kitchen had been cleaned and he had checked on Catherine, Gil helped Mattie get his bath and get ready for bed. Catherine went with him to his room to read him a bedtime story. She had found a copy of _Dr. Dolittle_ and they read a chapter a night. Gil walked to Lindsey's room.

"Hey kiddo," he said as he entered.

"Oh...hi Dad," she said, looking up from her book.

He sat on her bed as he wondered how to approach her. "Look, I know today's news has you worried..."

"Yeah, it does. I even went online to find out more, but that just made it worse."

"Yeah... me too. Look Honey, I'm scared too. But the doctor is on top of everything and is going to watch Catherine very closely. We need to keep an eye on her at home too. And no stress, physically or otherwise."

"Yeah... I understand," she said heavily.

"This is a lot for you to be dealing with, I know. When you are not studying, your head should be into hair and make-up, fashion, and your friends...not worrying about your parents."

"What about boys, Dad?" she asked playfully. "Girls my age think a lot about boys, you know."

He smirked. "The only thing you need to be thinking about boys is that they are trouble," he answered in the same playful mood. "And you aren't dating til you are thirty anyway, so you don't need to spend time thinking about them. Just look at the trouble it's gotten your Mom into."

She laughed a little, "yeah, some trouble...she's happier and more content than she has been in her whole life because of one guy in particular. You and Mom taught me one thing."

"Really, what's that?"

"Being patient and waiting for the right guy...it's worth it. All those creeps she dated...and then it was like she had given up on finding someone and all of a sudden it clicked for you guys...like all her need to have someone was getting in the way of having 'the someone."

"There was more to it than that, Honey...but yes, be patient. One day you'll have a special someone too, if that's what you want. Just don't be foolish like I was and try to deny your feelings until it is almost too late."

"It's going to be hard for me to find a guy though...He'll have a lot to live up to." Gil looked at her quizzically. "I mean, there's you ...and Uncle Jim, and Nick and Warrick and Greg...how's any guy going to stand up when he's measured against all that?"

Gil laughed at her comment. Just don't let Greg hear you talking like that. It'll go to his head. But yes, those are aome very good men and I'd be very happy if you ever found one as good as any of them."

"Yeah...they are good men. But I think Mom got the best." She reached across and rubbed his shoulder.

"I think I did too," said Catherine from the doorway. She was looking lovingly at her husband and smiling. "The very best."

Later in bed, Catherine snuggled up to Gil getting as close as she could. He lifted his arm and she laid her head on his chest, comforted by the sound of his heartbeat. Hi arm rested around her arm with his hand settling along her side. "Gil," she said quietly.

"Hmmmm," he sounded content.

"Try not to worry so much."

"I'm trying, but I am admittedly frightened. I woory most about you...if anything goes wrong. I know how hard that would be for you."

"Yeah...it would. So we'll just have to be sure that nothing goes wrong."

He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. "Which is why we are going to do exactly as the doctor said."

"I know," she sighed. "It's just that with all this rest, I'm restless. I feel like I have all this pent up energy."

"She didn't say you have to spend all your time resting. We'll think of some things to do to get you out of the house. Maybe go to some movies or short shopping trips. We'll think of some things...but no overdoing."

"That's great for later...but right now, I'm feeling _very_ energetic." Her voice took on a very sultry tone and her hand was beginning to rub his chest in a hungry manner.

"Oh, you are?"

"Yes, I feel like I need something to relieve the stress of all this energy..." She gently kissed his shoulder and then nibbled toward his neck.

"Cath...I know what the doctor said, but..."

"She said it would be okay for now..."

"Yeah, but..."

No buts...she said it was okay..."

"But I'm scared." He gasped as she worked her way into his neck and hit one of his sensitive spots. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you or something." He was squirming as she teased behind his earlobe.

"Oh, I won't let you hurt me, Gil. But there's a lot you can do for me..." She was teasing all around his ear now.

"God, Cath...I... don't... think..." He was trying to think with the brain in his head but the little brain was taking over. She knew all his hot spots and was using it to her advantage.

"That's right, don't think...just feel. Feel this." Her lips moved to his as her hand moved to his opposite ear to do a number on it. The sensations she was creating within him were overwhelming and his willpower was fading. He was totally hers to so with as she pleased. And she did.

Once pleasure was taken and given, they snuggled together ejoying the afterglow. "Cath, as ...ah...mind blowing as that was, it frightens me. If something went wrong..."

"Gil, I needed that. I needed you. We'll have months, I'm sure, when we can't. I intend to take full advantage of any oppoprtunities until then. If I'm going to get through those months, I need this time with you."

He held her tightly. "Me too. It's just ..."

"Yeah...I know."

He marvelled at how much she really did know him...his thoughts and feelings. "Nothing can hurt you, Honey. I can't let it happen. You mean too much to me."

"I love you too, Gil. And you are taking very good care of me. Such good care that sometimes I don't know what to do with it. No one has ever cared for me this way,,,,until you.' They held one another until both were asleep. Even during the night, as they moved around and changed positions in their sleep, they never lost contact. When they woke up the next morning, each felt the comforting touch of the other.


	5. Chapter 5

Days went by and the Grissom household was settling into a quieter routine. Gil watched his wife carefully to be sure that she didn't do too much but he also realized that she needed some activity. They found things to do that wouldn't be too taxing. She needed some exercise but not too much, so they took walks. Sometimes they spent an evening at the movies. Dinner out once a week was becoming a pattern also. He had even taken her on a couple of shopping trips to Babys R Us.

An amniocentesis was scheduled for sixteen weeks. The appointment was approaching. They looked forward to it, hoping the results would calm some of their fears. But they looked toward it with apprehension also. What if the results weren't positive in nature? Then what? Gil spent his spare time reading online articles about the most common possibilities. He needed to understand...needed to be prepared. Catherine tried not to think about it...thinking meant worrying and worrying increased the possibilities of problems. She forced herself to remain calm and positive.

Her growing bump was testimony to the fact that she was carrying twins. Gil had watched her progress with interest and a little delight. Something about her roundness excited him. And of course there was the extra roundness in her breasts; a development that he found very exciting. He was exploring her added roundness when the phone rang.

"Grissom."

"Mr. Grissom, this is Casey Lipton, the secretary at Mattie's school. Mrs. Troy asked me to call. It seems Mattie and a friend had a little adventure and we need for him to be picked up early today."

"An adventure? Is he hurt?"

"No, no one is hurt...but he , well...he needs a bath."

"What?"

"We'll explain it all when you get here. We've dried him as much as possible but he really needs a bath."

"Ah...okay," replied a confused Gil. "I'll be right there."

He hung up and explained to Catherine, who insisted on going with him. They drove to the school and found Mattie sitting in the office. "Mr. and Mrs. Grissom," greeted Mrs. Johnson, the School Director. "Mrs Troy is on her way from the classroom. She'll explain everything." Mrs. Johnson was fighint back a smile, Gil determined. It must not be too bad.

Catherine sat next toMattie and got a whiff of him. Her face betrayed how bad he smelled. He wanted to hug her but she told him to stay in the chair. Suddenly he understood that he was in trouble and tears began to roll down his face. "I'm sorry Mommy. I forgot." He looked so sad that she wanted to hug him but she refrained, partly because of his smell and partly because she wanted him to know that he was indeed, in trouble.

Mrs. Troy entered the office and the little group sat. "I'm sorry we had to disturb you but we really can't keep Mattie at school smelling like he does. His friend, Alex, has already been picked up."

"What happened?" asked Catherine.

Mrs. Troy looked at Mattie. "Would you like to tell your parents what happened or should I?"

Mattie looked forlornly at her. "I will." He looked from his mother to his father and back to his mother again. His lower lip poked out, an imitation of his father's 'pouty look' that always seemed to get Gil out of trouble with Catherine. She had to fight back a giggle.

Gil's stern voice interrupted his attempt at absolution. "Mattie?"

"Alex had to pee. But he didn't want to go inside and miss outdoor time. We went to the fence by the barn and there is a hole in one of the boards. He said he could make his pee go in the hole. I said I could too. Then he said he could stand way away and make it go in so I said I could too. So we did." He smiled. "I made it go in Daddy." He was very proud of his accomplishment.

Gil looked at his son in complete amazement. "How did you get so wet, Mattie." He was afraid that he knew the answer.

"We didn't mean to..." he was in tears again.

Mrs Troy picked up the story. "They started laughing and turned toward each other before they had stopped the streams." Agian, she was fighting back laughter. "Both boys were soaked."

Catherine was shaking from her attempts not to laugh. Gil stared at his son..."Son?"

"Yes, Daddy?" He was beaming, having understood that the adults thought it was funny.

Afraid of laughing outloud, Gil decided to save the talk for home. Maybe he could recover his control after a few minutes. "We're going home so you can get cleaned up. Then we are having a serious talk." He tried his best to look stern. "But first, you need to say something to Mrs. Troy and Mrs. Johnson. You and Alex have disrupted the school."

Mattie looked solemnly at the ladies. "I'm sorry, " he said.

The ride home was difficult. Catherine stared at the floorboard, trying not to laugh. Mattie was quiet in the backseat, understanding that while it might seem funny to the adults, he was still in trouble. Gil was trying to understand the mind of an almost four year old.

Once home, Gil supervised Mattie's bath. After he was clean and dressed, Gil took him to the laundry room, where he had to rinse his clothes and then help Gil wash a load of clothes. Once the clothes were in the machine, he took Mattie to his room for a serious chat.

"Mattie, why did you pee on the playground?"

"I told you Daddy, Alxe said..."

"That's Alex, son. Why did you go along with him? You know that only babies do things like that. Big guys know to use the bathroom in the bathroom."

Mattie's face fell. "But Daddy, I'm a big boy..." Tears were forming again.

"Yes, Mattie. You are getting to be a big boy. And you've really been great these past few weeks. Better than I thought a little guy could be. And then you do something like this. It's disappointing, son."

Mattie began to cry in earnest. "I'm sorry, Daddy. Alex made me...he..."

"Alex didn't make you, Mattie. Alex might have told you to do it or even challenged you, but it was you that decided to do it. Not Alex."

"He said I couldn't get the pee in the hole...I had to show him I could."

"No...you might have felt like you had to show him that you could do it, but that's not true. Mattie, this is a really grown up thing to understand, but the only person you ever have to prove anything to is you. You knew what you were doing was not right, but you did it anyway. What you did disappointed me and your mother. But when you go against what you know is right, you hurt yourself the most. Do you understand?"

Mattie looked at his father, confused. "yes."

Gil could see that he didn't. _Maybe he's too young to get it_, Gil thought. _Maybe right now it's enough to understand that we are disappointed._ "Okay, well...let's get your lunch and then it'll be naptime."

"Okay Daddy."

"And Mattie...you need to tell your Mom that you're sorry too. She was really upsest from the phone call."

Mattie found Catherine in the kitchen, making his lunch. "I'm sorry Mommy," he said.

"Okay Mattie.Now you know that it's not okay. I know you won't do it again."

Later when Mattie was napping, his parents gave into the humor of his little adventure. The snuggled on the couch, laughing at the visual image of the peeing contest. "I just hope Alex was as soaked as Mattie was," chuckled Catherine.

"Yeah..." laughed Gil. "In a way, it was good to see him doing a kid thing like that. He's been so...subdued lately. I didn't realize how much until this. Oddly, I've missed some of his antics."

"Yeah, I have to admit; I have too. We need to be careful about that, Gil."

He pulled her coser to him and kissed her. "Maybe we've all been a little too stressed over this. It's probably my fault. I've been so worried. I just want everything to be so perfect for you. I'm going to try not to worry so much anymore, though."

She smiled at his words. "It's nobody's fault, Gil. We are both worried. We are just handling it differently. But now we know that we're overdoing it so we can do better."

"Hmmm. do better..." he kissed her ear..."at relaxing." She turned toward him. "And relieving stress..." he kissed her.

"Oh, baby...you do great at helping me relax. In fact, it seems like you were helping me with that when the phone rang."

"Care to pick it up...?"

"Thought you'd never ask..." She stood and headed for the bedroom. He followed, eyeing her beautiful backside all the way.

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So, how am I doing? Please give feedback. It keeps the juices flowing.


	6. Chapter 6

Matthew Gilbert Grissom woke up very excited. It was his fourth birthday. Mommy and Daddy were coming to school for his 'Celebration of Life' ceremony and they were bringing cupcakes for his class to share on his birthday. Then in the afternoon, after naptime, Daddy was going to take him and his friend Alex to the adventuredome. They had given him a choice. He could take a friend to the adventuredome on his birthday or they could wait until Saturday and have a small party. Mattie knew that birthday parties made the adults tired and cranky and he didn't want to make Mommy anymore tired, so he chose the adventuredome. Besides, Daddy said he might be tall enough for some of the bigger rides now.

He hurried to get dressed; four year olds should be able to dress themselves, he had decided. Then he went to the kitchen for breakfast. Daddy was making chocolate chip pancakes for his birthday breakfast. Mommy was already at the table when he got there. "Good morning Birthday Boy," she said. He smiled and hugged her before sitting in his chair. Lindsey came in a couple of minutes later. "Happy Birthday, Buggie." Daddy brought the pancakes to the table along with some eggs and some fruit. Mommy wanted the fruit and Daddy wanted eggs, he said. Lindsey joined Mattie in devouring the pancakes. They chatted a little about his day and then Lindsey left for school.

Mattie ran to brush his teeth while Daddy picked up the breakfast dishes. Then he amd Mommy drove Mattie to school. Mattie hugged his mother as he climbed out of the car. "Okay Mattie, your teacher told us to come back at ten for your celebration. We'll see you then," said Daddy as he walked Mattie to his class.

"Okay Daddy." He hugged his Daddy and bounded into the classroom. Gil wondered if anything would be accomplished at school that morning. He returned to the car to find Catherine with tears rolling down her face. "Catherine?" he asked anxiously.

"I'm okay...it's just, he's growing up so fast."

Gil chuckled. "Honey, it's only his fourth birthday. We'll get celebrate many more with him before he is all grown."

"I know...and I'm being silly. But he's just not a baby anymore."

"No, he's not. But you'll soon have more baby stuff to deal with and you'll be glad he's out of that stage, I think."

"Yeah...but still..."

Gil took her hand and brought it to his mouth. He gently kissed it and then squeezed her hand. "Being pregnant is turning you into mush, Mrs. Grissom."

"Oh come on, Gil. Admit it. You're feeling it a little too. I saw it in your face at the breakfast table."

"What you saw at the table was me being awestruck by him. He's turning into quite a special little guy." Gil stroked her cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For him..." then he patted her tummy, "and for these two, also."

"I believe you had something to do with it...if memory serves."

"Yeah, I got the fun part...you've gotten stuck with all the hard part." He started the car and they headed for home.

Catherine thought about what he said as they drove. Once they were back in the house, she replied "Gil, what you said...about the hard part...you are a great father, you know. Just think about how much you've helped Lindsey and how much happier she is. And Mattie ...well, I gave birth to him but he is _your_ son. And these twins...I'd never make it through without all the support you give me."

He gathered her into a warm, gentle hug that was filled with love. "Honey, if I'm a good father it's because you taught me how. As for Mattie being _my _son...I suppose he is a lot more like me than he is like you, but he has your vitality" Remembering her determination to give him a child, tears gathered in his eyes as he looked into hers. "He's the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me...thank you."

"Let's just hope you are as grateful for our next two."

He held her head on his chest as he gently caressed the back of her neck. "They may be the death of me if they are anything like Mattie," he chuckled. "But I'm sure that I'll love them as much as I do him. And on their fourth birthday, I'll thank you properly for them. They seem to be in the way of me showing you how grateful I am for Mattie, however." He patted her ever growing bulge.

She chuckled. "Yeah, they are making their presence known all right."

"Mrs. Grissom, what would you like to do to celebrate your son's fourth birthday?"

She considered his question for a moment. "While you and the boys are out adventuring, I think I'll soak in a nice luke warm, not hot, tub. And then after dinner, I think I'll let you hold me and rub my back and tell how much you love me."

He smiled. "Gladly..."

They headed back to school in time to be there for Mattie's Celebration and then Catherine and Mrs. Troy helped Mattie share his cupcakes. Gil took many, many pictures. After school they headed home for a small lunch and then the four year old scurried off to take his nap. His parents weren't sure that he would sleep any, but at least he would rest. Gil and Mattie left at three to pick up Alex and head for the Adventuredome. They returned just in time for dinner. Mattie was very tired but Gil looked worn out.

Cahterine smiled at him as he came into the kitchen to watch her cook."Everything go okay?" she asked.

"Yeah...he's telling Lindsey all about it now. You know, Cath...two four year olds sure do have a lot of energy. It's like each had his own and then you put them together and it magnifies."

Catherine chuckled at him. "Kind of like having twins, huh?"

He slumped. "Thanks for reminding me. Suddenly I feel really old."

"Yeah...you're just a dirty old man with too much firepower for his own good..."

"Oh gross," exclaimed Lindsey from the doorway. "You guys are just gross sometimes..."

"What, we were behaving ourselves," said Gil.

She rolled her eyes and left the room.

They spent dinner listening to Mattie talk all about the afternoon. He and Alex had ridden every ride that they were tall enough for. They had eaten cotten candy and hot dogs. He told the same stories two or three times but he never seemd to tire of them. After dinner he opened his birthday presents. Lindsey had gotten him a bug maginfier. He could catch bugs in it and then the end was a magnifying glass, so he could study them. The Gil wheeled in his gift from them, a three wheeler. Mrs Troy had commented on how much he enjoyed the riding toys at school and they had decided to get him something for home. Mattie was excited with his gifts and immediatly hopped on the three wheeler and rode it through the house. They let him play while Gil and Lindsey cleaned up the kitchen and then Gil helped him with bathtime. They followed the ususal ritual of Catherine reading to him and then as he settled under the covers to go to sleep he told his mother, "I'm really a big boy now, Mommy." His eyes were lit like stars and twinkled with his sense of accomplishment. "You certainly are," she agreed as she kissed him good night.

Once the adults were settled under their covers, Gil hugged the mother of the big boy. "Is this where I get to tell you how much I love you?" he asked.

"Oh yes,"she said. "And you can show me by rubbing my tired, aching body too."

Slowly and very gently, he began to massage all the tired aching muscles that were making themselves known while carrying her extra load. He started with her feet and ankles and worked his way up her legs to her back and shoulders, ending by rubbing her neck. They both felt the relief and relaxation in her body that came with his attention. Once he had finshed, he snuggled up to her. "Honey...would you mind if I just held you all night? I really need to feel you near me."

"Oh, I think that would be wonderful," she smiled. As he cuddled closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, she reminded him of her doctor's appointment tomorrow. "The amnio results should be back, Gil. I just hope eveything is okay."

"They will be, Honey. You're doing everything right." But in his heart he was anxious too. "But whatever the results are, we're in this together." He held her a little tighter and kissed her gently. She settled into his arms and sighed. And so they spent the night holdong one another, worried about the tests but content in the warmth of thier embrace.

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	7. Chapter 7

Neither Catherine or Gil slept particularly well that night; both were worried about what the doctor might say the next day. Catherine was worried about her babies. While Gil worried about them, he was more worried about her. Somewhere in the night he wondered why he wasn't more concerned about them. Finally he reasoned that the babies were more 'real' to her; after all, she was the one carrying them. She had a physical awareness of them that he had yet to experience. For him they were still a bit abstract, even though their presence was more and more evident as her tummy grew. As he contemplated these notions he snuggled behind her and reached his arm around her, placing his hand over her tummy. He hoped they could feel that their Daddy was there for them. She was semi-concious when he held her bulging stomach. His hand on her gave her a sense of peace, allowing her to fade into a full sleep.

As the morning sun crept through the window, Catherine slowly woke up. She had a feeling of being watched. Turning, she saw Gil behind her, tears in his eyes. Sleepily she whispered, "Gil?"

"You're so beautiful when you sleep. I've been watching you."

"You've watched me sleep before. It didn't bring tears to your eyes. What were you thinking about?"

"Just...how much I love you. How much I want things to be perfect for you. How it will break both of our hearts if things aren't perfect for the dynamic duo there."

She touched her hand to his face, gently stroking his cheek. "I love you too. And we are all going to be fine. I'm worried too, Gil, but I have to believe that everything is going to be okay. But if there is a problem with the babies, we're still going to be okay because we have each other." He gathered her into his arms. There were no words with which to respond; no way to express the deluge of emotions running through him, except to hold her. She was the center of his universe; as long as she was okay, he would be okay.

"Gil...the dynamic duo? You think of our kids as Batman and Robin?"

Before he could answer they heard a loud clatter from the kitchen, so he went to investigate instead. He found Mattie next to the stove. In the middle of the floor was the toaster, two slices of burnt toast spilling out onto the tile.

"Mattie, what happened?"

His lips in full pouty mode, he was close to tears. "I was going to make my own breakfast...be a big boy. But when I was getting the toast out of the toaster, I knocked it off and it fell down. And my toast is all black." Small tears were making their way down his cheek.

"It's okay, son, as long as you are not hurt. Maybe we need to be sure someone else is with you when you make breakfast, though...just in case you need help. For now, let's clean this up."

Mattie looked at his father sadly. "But I wanted to be a big boy and do it myself," he cried.

Gil walked to where Mattie was standing. Easing his way to the floor, he sat and pulled Mattie into his lap. "Mattie, there are so many things to learn about being grown up. There's just no way to do it in four years. I know that seems like a long time to you, but Daddy's more than ten times that old and I'm still learning how to be a big boy. I think it's something we guys keep learning our whole lives. But you've been doing a great job with the things that are right for a four year old to know. You've been helping with the household chores...taking care of the trash for us and helping to fold laundry. You help clean your room you set the table for dinner. That's alot. Plus you've been great about being quiet when Mommy is resting and helping to take care of her. I think you are doing a fantastic job at this big boy stuff. But making your own toast is probably a six year old boy thing, okay?"

Mattie looked at his father through tear laden eyes. "What kind of big boy things are you still learning?"

Gil thought a moment. "Well, I've had to learn to make toast, and the rest of breakfast, for more than just me. And I'm learning that the more love you give away, the more you get back. And always before I married your mother I only had me to take care of. Seems to me like I'm just now understanding how to take care of Mommy and Lindsey and you and now we're going to have twins and I'll have to learn how to take care of them too. Mostly I'm learning that this big boy stuff is really hard sometimes but that it is worth the effort, so I keep trying. So, you see Mattie...it's something you keep doing as long as you live."

Sniffling before he spoke, Mattie looked up at his Dad's face. "So you never get to be all grown up?"

"Well, your body does. But inside, where all the really good stuff happens, there's always a little part of you that hasn't quite grown up yet."

"Oh..."

Gil hugged his son. "Come on, let's get this cleaned up and I'll help you with breakfast, okay?"

The boy smiled as he stood up and began picking up his mess.

After getting Lindsey off to school and dropping Mattie off at his, Gil and Catherine headed to her doctor's office. Catherine went back for the regular exam and then later one of the nurses came to get Gil. They sat in the office, waiting for the doctor to talk to them. After a few nervous minutes, she enterd and sat behind her desk.

"Well, we got the results back from the amnio. Things are looking good. I'll remind you that while this is very reliable it is not 100 per cent. But everything came back negative. There were no signs of any of the chromosonal defects we talked about."

Both parents relaxed at her words. A heavy burden was lifted and they immediatly felt better.

"And Catherine, you seem to be doing a great job of resting and eating right. All the labs so far are showing that you are maitaining your health and that of the babies. Any questions?"

Both nodded and thanked the doctor for the good news.

"Oh, don't thank me, you are the ones doing all the hard stuff. I think next time we'll do another ultrasound and see how they are proggressing. Maybe one will wave at you."

They smiled at her comment and thanked her again before leaving. As they drove home, Gil turned to Catherine and smiled. "Honey, I feel like celebrating. You want to run by Babies R US and pick out the things for their room?" Catherine hadn't wanted to fix their room until they knew things were okay. She had said it would jinx them. But now, things were looking very good. "Yes, let's do that." Her eyes were sparkling. Gil loved seeing that sparkle in her eyes.

They picked out the furniture and then she browsed the bedding section. Gil was looking at car seats, reading every box for safety information. Then he checked out the strollers, estatic to find that they make them for twins. He went to find Catherine to tell her the good news.

She was standing next to the bedding display, tears dropping from her eyes. "Cath?" Gil was alarmed.

"It's real isn't it? We're having twins... It's not just a dream."

Relieved, he chuckled. "No, Honey, it's not a dream. That little basketball you are carrying really is twins. "

Her eyes glistened as she looked into his. "I'm just so...relieved."

"Me too," he smiled as he hugged her. "Come on, I want to show you what I found," he said as he led her to the strollers

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So...how am I doing?


	8. Chapter 8

Things seemed to be easier around the Grissom house after the good test results. Catherine and Gil had both relaxed and it showed in their children. Lindsey had even brought over a new boyfriend for Gil to intimidate. As he'd let the victim in the house, Gil had eyed him suspiciously. "Haven't I seen you before?" he asked.

The boy, Eric, looked self conciously at his feet and said "yes sir, I took Lindsy to the homecoming dance last year."

"Oh, yeah," Gil replied absent mindedly. He remembered now. The kid had shown up looking more like he was going bowling than to a dance. "Well, at least this time you look like you're dressed for a date," he said.

"Dad," Lindsey pleaded as she stepped into the room.

"What? I'm being nice..." Gil shot her an innocent look.

"You ready?" Eric asked Lindsey.

"Sure," she smiled at him.

As they headed out the door Gil called out, "have a good time. And good to see you again, Eric. We'll see you again next year."

Catherine burst out laughing. "Gil...I can't believe you said that."

"What,"

"See you again next year?"

"Well," he grinned impishly.

The weeks were passing slowly and Catherine was getting larger and larger; at least her mid section was. As she grew, her activity level diminished until she spent most of her time with her feet up. Gil had pulled a recliner into the former guest room now turned nursery so that she could supervise his remodel. It seemed everything had to be done at least twice before it met her standards. But that was okay with him. She was happy and so he was happy.

Mattie tried to be helpful in the work. His presence usually meant that things had to be done a third time. But that was okay with Gil too. They were spending some really good guy time together. After a hard afternoon in the nursery they would sit on the patio and have a drink; Gil with his beer and Mattie with his chocolate milk. Catherine had complained about the chocolate but Gil had stood up for the little guy. "Now look Cath, you can't get between a guy and his beverage of choice. At least it's not soda. I mean he could be guzzling the hard stuff, you know."

Jim would stop by about once a week and the guys would hang out, either on the patio or in the bug room. Catherine was glad that Jim was there for Gil. He was having to be so domestic these days, she thought that hanging out with another man was probably good for him. Mattie was becomming quite attached to his 'Uncle Jim' too. Occassionally Jim would take him for ice cream or some other treat so that Catherine and Gil could get a little relief and maybe even get some serious work done in the babies' room.

Others from the team visited also, but Jim was the most regular. Nick and Greg helped Grissom move the bedroom furniture out when the project began and had helped with the painting. Thanks to Mattie's participation, all three men ended the day covered in a beautiful pastel green. Catherine had used computer matching to get the color just right to match the accessories they had picked out for the room. She had laughed when she saw them, covered in the green. "Hey guys, looking good. Is there any on the walls?"

Nick shared the story with interjections from Greg. Mattie had entered the room in his 'working clothes' and insisted on helping. Greg had given Mattie a small brush and showed him how to fill in the corners. Greg was using a roller to paint the wall next to where he had Mattie painting. Mattie turned to dip the brush in the can and then shook the excess off, sending splatter across the room, hitting all three men. That started a small paint fight, each one shaking their brushes or rollers in turn until each was covered in speckles. Later, Gil was bent over, pouring more paint into his rollerpan when Mattie decided to use his brush to connect the dots on Gil's back. Gil ran the roller up Mattie's back, reducing him to giggles and bringing the other two men to the little guy's defense. Consequently, they were covered in green paint. Gil took Mattie off to the shower in their bathroom while Catherine found some sweats and tee shirts for Nick and Greg to change into after a quick shower in the hall bathroom. Once they had all cleaned up, pizza was ordered and the two friends spent the evening enjoying life with the Grissoms.

Warrick seemed to shy away from the extended family that seemed to surround Catherine and Gil, as did Sara. They understood why Sara stayed away; she still had strong feelings for Gil and had never been really friendly with Catherine. But Warrick's distance confused and saddened them. They were far too busy to dwell on his absence however, but did occassionally ask the others if they knew what was going on. No one seemed to know.

It was a happy time for the family and also one of anticipation. Catherine still needed to be careful and take very good care of herself but their worst fears had been alleviated. She continued following all the doctor's orders and let Gil pamper her more and more. Once the babies arrived, she knew there would be no time for pampering. In the meantime, he made sure that she was all of her appointments and that she followed doctor's orders. So far, things were looking very good.

They had not asked about the babies' sex when the amnio results came back but the subsequent ultrasounds revelaed that there was one of each. So the twins were fraternal and not identical. They spent three weeks thinking of names and writing them on slips of paper. The slips were placed in cookie tins in the kitchen. One was for boy names and one was for girl names. Lindsey and Mattie were encouraged ot participate also. At the end of the third week the tins were opened and all the names considered. As a family, they decided. Daryl Caitlyn was chosen for the girl and David Thomas was the boy's name. Daryl and David both meant beloved and Caitlyn was a variation of Catherine meaning joy; Thomas meant twin. As it turned out, the results were perfect . Lindsey had come up withThomas for twin. One of Mattie's many suggestions had been David. Catherine had written Daryl and Gil had wanted Caitlyn in honor of Catherine. Eveyone was happy with the choices.

On her next visit to the doctor, Catherine's blood pressure became a concern. "It's a little elevated. We need to monitor that. Do you have a blood pressure monitor at hime?"

"No," replied Gil "but I'll get one this afternoon."

"Good. As long as it doesn't go higher, I think we're okay. But if her numbers keep going up I want to see her immediatly. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Okay...well, let's go have a look at our little superstars."

In the ultrasound room, Catherine climbed onto the table and the tech began the prep work. Soon they were seeing images of David and Daryl. "Everything still looks good," said the doctor. A picture was printed for them to take with them.

Catherine stared at it as they drove home. "You can really see tthem now, Gil. There's a head and there's a nother head kind of behind it. And look at the little feet and hands. Oh Gil, they are so beautiful."

"Like their mother," he smiled.

True to his word, Gil brought home a blood pressure monitor. He drove Catherine crazy checking her pressure three times a day. She refused to let him check it more. Her numbers stayed consistant for a few days, not going down much but not rising either. Then on the fourth day, her pressure spiked. Gil waited a few minutes and checked again. She was still high. He called the doctor's office and was told to bring Catherine in immediatly. He loaded her in the car and called Jim as he drove to the office.

"Brass"

"Hey Jim, it's Gil. Listen, I've got a big favor to ask. Could you pick Mattie up from the school for me? I need to take Cath to the doctor."

"Sure...but is everything okay with her?"

"Well, her BP is high and the doc wants to check her out. Hopefully it's just a temporary thing but we'll know more after we see the doc."

"Okay...I'll get Mattie and we'll grab some luch. Give me a call when you guys finish and I'll bring him home."

"Thanks Jim".

"Hey...just take care of Cath and the babies Gil"

Gil closed the phone and glanced at her. She didn't look so good.

Once they arrived at the doctor's office, Catherine was led in to get ready for an exam. Gil paced in the hallway. Seeing him pacing, the doc suggested that he wait in her office until she had a chance to see Catherine. A nurse came later to take him to the ultrasound room where they were doing another one. "We're just checking on the little ones," the doctor said in a reassuring tone. She studied the images intently. After a few minutes she looked up and smiled."They are still looking good."

Cahterine took in a deep breath. Gil sighed, letting one out. "So everything is okay?"

"Well...yes. But Catherine, I'm putting you on complete bedrest. The only excuse you have to get out of bed is to go to the bathroom. And I mean on your back kind of bedrest. No sitting up and playing with Mattie or doing any projects or whatever. I want your feet up and your head down. Watch movies or read or sleep but do it lying down. If bedrest doesn't help your BP, then I'll put you in the hospital and I know you 'd rather be at home. But we need to give these babies as much time as we possibly can to finish developing.

Tears were forming in Catherine's eyes and fear was written all over Gil. "What's going on, Doc?"

"She's developed gestational hypertension and we don't want it to become preeclampsia or worse. It is not all that unusual for a woman to have this when she's past forty or for multiple births, but it is a concern. It could cause complications for the babies...lower birth weight and pre term delivery."

Gil swallowed with difficulty. Catherine lost all color in her face. "Bed rest...I can do that."

"Good. And Gil, I want you to keep monitoring her BP. If it goes up anymore...in fact, I want you to call her numbers in everyday. That way I can stay on top of the situation. And I expect to see you back next week."

"Thanks Doc."

She left the room and Catherine got up to dress. Gil helped her and then walked her down the hall. He had her sit while he got the car and pulled it to the door.

In the meantime, Brass picked up Mattie from school. The teacher had given him some grief about not being authorized or some such nonsense but he had flashed his badge and demanded the child. Upon seeing his 'Uncle Jim' Mattie had gleefully flown into his arms. The teacher prompted Mattie to ask his 'UncleJim' for the password. All the children were suppossed to have a password for people who might be picking them up. Mattie looked up and asked Jim for it. "Let's see...who made up the password, Mattie?"

"Daddy," the boy beamed at him.

"Then the password is 'spiderman."

Mattie giggled and said that yes it was. With that the teacher decided that it must be okay.

In the car, Jim asked Mattie what his teacher's name was. "Mrs. Troy," replied the boy. "She had a little boy like me once but he's in heaven with his daddy now. She says it's okay though 'cause she still has another boy and a girl to keep her company. Besides, she says she gets to love lots of boys and girls everyday."

Jim thought about the woman. She'd been pretty fiesty with him. He'd enjoyed the exchange. He might have to pick Mattie up more often, he thought. They headed to Mattie's favorite place, Chuck E Cheese's. They ordered a small pizza and then Jim let him play some of the games. Jim enjoyed spending time with the squirt. He felt like they were developing a special relationship. He looked forward to being an honorary uncle to the twins too.

Just as they got the piza his phone rang. It was Gil, telling him they were heading home. "Okay, well Mattie and I are eating pizza and then we'll head over."

"Thanks Jim."

By the time Jim and Mattie got to the house, Catherine was flat on her back in bed. Jim came in to see how she was and visited a minute. He decided that they didn't need him hanging around, so he left with instructions to Gil to call him if they needed anything. Gil got Mattie down for a nap and then went to snuggle with Catherine. "Hmmmm," she said. "This is the best thing for me," she said.

"What is?"

"You...here with me, like this."

"Then this is where I'll be." They dozed off for a short nap of their own.

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Review please?


	9. Chapter 9

Catherine was becoming frustrated with the enforced bedrest but she understood that it was necessary. Her BP hadn't gone up again and had settled into numbers that the doctor seemed content with. Gil hovered, afraid to leave her alone. Each day that passed was a relief, it was one more day the twins had to fully develop.

Then one night, she woke Gil and told him she thought she was in labor. "In labor?" he asked sleepily.

"Yeah, I think so..." panic was setting in. "But it's too soon, Gil. They need more time."

"Honey..." he didn't know what to say to calm her. "Let's stay calm. We'll go to the hospital and find out what's going on. And we'll take it from there. But we're going to be okay Cath...and we're going to do all we can for the little guys."

They dressed quickly. Gil woke Lindsey and told her what was happening. Then he called Jim and asked him to check on the kids when he finished his shift. Satisfied that the home front was covered, he drove Catherine to the hospital.

Once they arrived and he explained the situation, she was immediatly taken in for an exam. Her doctor was called and was headed in. Once she arrived, she checked on Catherine. With Gil holding Cath's hand, they listened as the doc explained what was happening. "Catherine, you are in labor. We are going to use meds to try to delay this a day or two and pump you full of corticosteriods to help their lungs. At 30 weeks, they are still underweight and immature but the chances of survival are very good. I'll be honest, though. The chances of at least mild defects are also pretty high. We won't know what the complications might be until after they arrive, but we have everything ready in the NICU to care for them."

Tears were running down Catherine's cheeks. "But I...we ...did everything you said to do."

"Yes...you've done everything you could possibily do. You've done all the right things, Catherine. They have just gotten in a hurry to see the world outside. We're going to do everything we can to be sure they arrive safely."

Gil held Catherine closely. He was afraid to speak; afraid his voice would betray his inner panic. He'd never been so afraid about anything in his life. A nurse appeared with the bags of meds to connect to her IV. He continued to hold onto her, afraid to let go.

Nurses came and went as did the doctor, every few minutes. Gil pulled a chair close to Catherine and sat, never letting go of her hand. He tried to think of comforting things to say but his mind wouldn't work; wouldn't come up with the words. They listened to the monitors that had been set up. They waited and worried. The meds were taking effect as Catherine felt the labor sensations subside and the process slow. When she was checked again, everyone seemed happy with the results. Gil sighed in relief. At least something was going as they hoped it would.

They spent hours watching and waiting. Jim showed up the next morning. He'd gone by the house and picked up the kids. Both were at school. He'd promised Lindsey that he would pick her up if anything happened during the day. Nick was going to get Mattie at noon and bring him to the hospital. After a visit, Jim planned to take him under his wing. Catherine and Gil thanked him for his help. Lily had been called and planned to stay with them that night but couldn't get there before 7. "No problem," Jim smiled. "We'll keep things covered until she gets there. Don't worry about the kids, guys. Take care of things here. Between Lily and the rest of us, things will be covered on the home front."

Jim stayed with them a few minutes. Then he said he was headed for the cafeteria. "Can I get you anything, Gil?"

"No," Gil shook his head. "But thanks."

By the time Nick showed up with Mattie, Jim was back. They let Mattie visit with his parents and then Jim took the little guy in tow and left Nick to visit. "It's going to be okay, Catherine. It's gotta be." he said to her. "Besides, you're one of the strongest people I know. These little ones have to have some of your strength in them. They'll be fighters."

"Thanks Nick."

"Now, is there anything I can do for either of you?"

Gil started to thank him for picking up Mattie. Catherine asked him if he had a little more time. "Sure,"he answered.

"Then stay with me for a little while and let Gil go get something to eat."

Gil started to protest but Catherine insisted. "No good you passing out from lack of food."

Gil finally gave in and left Nick to watch over her. After he left, Catherine confided in Nick. "I'm worried about him, Nick. He's so quiet and I know this is tearing him up inside."

"It's hard on both of you, Catherine. But once the twins are born and he can see them, he'll be better. It's just hard for us guys to relate to babies before they are born, you know."

"Yes," she grinned. "I do know. But he's so frightened. "

"He'll be okay. You know Gris, he feels things a lot deeper than he lets on but he's as steady as they come. Once he sees that they are okay and that you are okay, he'll start smiling and passing out cigars."

"Yeah...I hope so. If they aren't okay though, I don't know what it will do to him."

"It'll do to him what it'll do to you. It'll break his heart. And then you two will put yourselves back together and do what you need to do for thoses babies, because that's who you are."

Gil returned looking a little better. Catherine was glad he had taken the break. Nick stayed a few minutes more and then left.

Gil dozed in the chiar next to Catherine. She slept but not too comfortably. They would spend the next twenty fours hours like that; waiting and worrying. Visitors came and went. Lindsey, Lily, and Mattie all spent the evening and then Greg drove them back home. Jim would take the kids to school again in the morning. After everyone had left Catherine commented, "Jim's gotten everything all organized very nicely with they guys helping take care of Mom and the kids. We owe him...and them...bigtime for this."

"Yeah," smiled Gil. "we have good friends. And the kids have some pretty special honorary uncles."

A knock sounded at the door. "Come in," called Gil.

Warrick walked into the room. "Hey guys. I heard what all was happening." He handed Catherine a small boquet of flowers. "I...um, well, I just wanted to stop by and wish you guys luck with all this." He looked timid, something that was very unlike Warrick.

Catherine thanked him for the flowers and Gil pulled a chair closer for him to sit. He settled in and looked from one mentor to the other. "I ..um...know I've been kind of distant. I just...well, Tina and I have been going through a pretty bad spell and you guys had so much going on, I didn't want my bad stuff to rub off on you."

Catherine reached for his hand. "I'm sorry Warrick. We should have realized that something was wrong. You know we would've been there for you if we'd known."

"Yeah, that's the thing; I do know that and you had so much to worry about already. I didn't want you worrying about me."

"But we did worry about you, Warrick. We just didn't know what to do with it," Gil said.

"So, are you and TIna okay now?" asked Catherine.

"No," he nodded. "We're splitting up. She, um...well, there's someone else." he seemed thoroughly defeated.

"I'm so sorry," Catherine said patting his hand. "I had really hoped you and she would make it."

"Yeah, but you were pretty angry when we first got married."

"Well, yeah...I was. We were close, I thought, and you hadn't told me anything about her or that you cared about her that much. It hurt. But I got over it and I really wanted you to be happy."

"I wanted me to be happy too, " he said. "I watched the two of you together and you were so ...I don't know, like out of this world blissful, it made me a little jealous, you know."

Catherine and Gil looked in each others eyes and smiled. "Out of this world...yeah, you're right, Warrick, " commented Gil. "But even the best relationships have thier troubles; I keep getting reminded of that. But if it's right, then you find a way through it. We know you did everything you could to make it work with Tina. We saw the changes in you as you tried to be who she needed. You did your part. There's plenty of evidence out there that sometimes that's just not enough."

"Yeah," added Catherine. "But Tina's the big loser here. I don't know who this other guy is, but he can't be half the man you are. Just remember who you are and that's a really great guy."

"Thanks guys. I appreciate that...and that you understand and can forgive me for acting the way I have lately. I want to help now though. What can I do?"

"Just don't drift away again, Warrick," said Gil. "And...it seems the kids are collecting 'honorary uncles.' Care to be on the list?"

Warrick smiled. "Where do I sign up?" Warrick felt good inside for the first time in a long time. He was back in the family.

After Warrick left, Gil turned the lights low and he and Catherine settled in for the night, she in the bed and he in the all too familiar chair. "Hey, Grissom..." he heard from her direction.

"Yeah..."

"I miss you in my bed."

He chuckled."I miss being in your bed. But that bed is small and I don't think there's room for all four of us."

"Yeah, I know. Besides, the nurses might be embarrassed when they walk in on what we do in the bed."

Another chuckle rumbled from his chest. "That's one good thing about this early delivery...The sooner they move out, the sooner I get back in."

Catherine laughed at that. "Gil Grissom, you are a bad man, a _very_ bad man!"

"Yeah, I know..."

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Babies come next time. In the meantime, keep those cards and letters coming folks, they inspire me,LOL.


	10. Chapter 10

By 11:00 am it was evident that Catherine's labor was in full force again. The doctor was keeping a close watch as she prgressed. Finally, she stood at the end of Catherine's bed, looking earnestly at both parents. "Things are going to start happening quickly very soon. Before that happens, I want to talk a little about what will happen when the twins are born. With Mattie, I was able to let you hold him a minute and enjoy the moment. However, as soon as these babies are out, they will be placed in an incubator and taken directly to NICU. Their lungs will be underdeveloped and they will probably need some help breathing. Also, there are other tests and screenings we will want to do ASAP to be sure that they have everything they need. We'll finish up in here and Catherine will go to recovery, as usual. When Catherine is feeling a little stronger and the babies are settled into NICU, you can go see them. There will be all sorts of rules about what you can and can't so and you'll have to wear the funny clothes. It may be awhile before you'll be able to touch them and even longer before you can hold them. We do want that to happen as soon as it can, however. We won't know just how much help they'll need or what,if any problems there are until they are born. I will tell you this, we expect some breathing problems; it could be very minor or it could be severe.One may do better than the other with this. I won't go down the list of the things that could go wrong, because hopefully it won't. But I do want you to be prepared. They will be tiny and they will be very vulnerable."

Tears were streaming down Catherine's face. Gil was trying to comfort her while fighting back his own tears and choking down his fear. "But you said we'll be able to see them?" he croaked.

"Yes, I'll arrange it as soon as we have them settled."

He nodded. "It'll be better once we see them."

"For now, let's take it one step at a time. First, we need to make sure that these little ones have a safe entry into the world. You two ready for your part? And once you've done your thing, we'll get busy doing ours."

Catherine nodded. As the doctor looked from one face to the other, she saw absolute determination forming in Catherine's and complete panic washing over Gil. "Gil, you're not going to pass out on us are you?"

He attempted a smile. "No Doc, no passing out. Just remind me to breathe every now and then though, would you please?"

Gil quickly called Jim and gave him a heads up. Jim said he'd get Mattie and then swing by to get Lindsey from school. By the time the babies arrived, Lily and the kids would be there. "Thanks Jim." And he hung up.

Things progressed as expected and about two hours later there was talk of moving to the delivery room. One of the nurses came in and spoke to Gil. "There's a very large cheering section in the waiting room. If you'd like to see them before the delivery, now's the time."

He walked through the doors into the waiting room. There sat his family: Lily, Lindsey, and Mattie along with Jim, Nick, Warrick, Greg, Doc Robbins, and even Sofia Curtis. His greatest surprise came when he spotted Sara sitting a little off to herself. Looking at the group, tears welled into his eyes. "Thanks guys...it means a lot, all of you here."

Jim asked how things were going and Gil quickly explained what was happening. Lily and Lindsey hurried back for a quick hello. Mattie began to fuss that he wanted to go too and Gil said he'd take him in a minute. He walked over to Sara. "Thank you. I know this isn't easy for you."

She smiled at him. "I want only the best for you...and your babies."

He nodded. "Thanks...it means alot..."

"And Grissom, ah...tell Catherine, well...tell her I said good luck."

He smiled and nodded. Maybe things were finally going to be okay between them now. He turned, gathered Mattie into his arms, and walked back to Catherine. Mattie gave his mother a hug and kissed her tummy. "I love you," he told the babies. Then Lily and Lindsey took his hands as they walked back to the waiting room. Gil turned to Cath. "The whole gang is here, even Doc and Sofia. And Cath, Sara is here."

"Sara?"

"Yeah. She asked me to tell you good luck."

Catherine smiled. "Thank her for me when you see her, okay."

The monitor indicated the onset of another contraction but Gil didn't need the monitor to tell him what was happening; it was clearly written on his wife's face. The pains were growing stronger. Things were progressing at a much more rapid pace and she was moving into the final stage of labor. He could tell becuase she was getting very cranky. During one contraction he felt compelled to apoligize for the pain that the babies, his babies, were causing her. "I'm sorry, Cath" he simply said.

"You damned well better be sorry and you owe me for this," she barked through a pain.

He smirked and agreed. "Yes, dear. And I intend to pamper and codle you once I get you home."

"No you don't, you over zealous sex fiend. I know what your intentions are and it'll be a cold day in hell..."

The nurse giggled at that one which sent Catherine into a tirade against the nurse. The nurse merely shrugged and left the room. By then the contraction had subsided and Catherine relaxed a little, knowing that the next one would soon come.

Another nurse appeared "Are you ready, Mrs. Grissom? Becasue I think those twins are." And they began the trip down the hall to the delivery room. Catherine was talking the whole way. "These babies are coming. Get me to the damned room or I'm going to drop them in the hall. Hurry!"

The doctor was waiting for them. "Catherine, are you ready to pop those little nuisances out?"

"Damned right, I am."

Everyone laughed a nervous laugh as they prepared for the event. Gil stood next to Catherine, holding her hand and hoping she didn't squeeze so tight this time. She'd nearly broken his hand with Mattie. But then he suppossed it was fair that he got in on some of the pain.

The doctor was settled in at the end of the table, waiting to make the catch. Nurses lingered around and Gil spotted the portable incubator near the wall. "All right, I see a tiny little head crowning. Let's see who we have here". The doctor went to work and coached Catherine, telling her not to push and then finally uttering the magic word, "Push."

Gil's attention shifted back and forth between Catherine and the action at the end of the table until finally he saw the tiny life in the doctor's hands. Quickly she severed the cord and gently rubbed the baby, stimulating it. They suctioned the nasal passages and Gil was relieved to see movement but concerned that there was no sound. A nurse saw his concern. "Premmies often don't cry at first," she said. "It's okay, not unuasual at all." The baby was gently, but quickly wiped and wrapped snuggly in a blanket and carefully placed in the incubator.

"Which one was that?" Catherine asked.

"Your daughter. She looked very good, all things considered." said the doctor.

Gil smiled at Catherine and mouthed a quiet but heartfelt 'thank you.'

"Okay, time for the second act." stated the doctor.

The process was repeated but to Gil this baby seemed much smaller. Again the doctor carefully but quickly took care of the essentials and then the baby was placed in the box with his sister. One of the nurses wheeled it close so that Catherine could at least see them in the box and then it was whisked away. Gil continued holding Catherines's hand and bent down to kiss her. "You did great," he said. "I love you."

She smiled at him, relieved that they were here and still alive but worried about them. Glad that he was here with her. She needed him with her. "Well, maybe not exactly 'a cold day in hell," was all she said.

Once she was settled into the recovery area, Gil went back to the waiting room. "They are here." He announced.

Everyone sighed in relief and then sprang into action, offering their congratulations. "But how are they doing?" Doc asked.

"Don't really know yet. The girl looked healthy enough, I guess but the boy was so tiny and fragile looking. He's much smaller than she appeared to be. They took them to NICU and we won't get to see them again until they've been evaluated."

The group got quiet. "Where's Mommy?" asked Mattie. His expression revealed his confusion and anxiety.

"She's okay Mattie. They have her in a special room where the nurses can take very good care of her until she feels better. Soon she'll be in her very own room and you can see her then, okay."

He nodded silently, fear still present in his face. As always, a miniature version of his father.

Most of the group offered their congratulations and said they'd be by later to see Catherine when she felt up to visitors. As Sara stepped in to offer hers, Gil looked at her. "I gave her your message. She said thanks...it meant a lot to her too, Sara. Thanks for being here."

She smiled. "I'll stop in later to check on you guys." And she left.

Jim lingered in the background. Gil saw him and walked to him. "Thanks Jim. Couldn't have done the last few days without you."

Jim held out a hand to shake but Gil did something totally unexpected and hugged him. "You're the brother I always wanted," he said.

Jim nodded, unable to speak. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Lily and the kids. "I'll hang around until they are ready to go home. I know you're not going anywhere for awhile. Oh, which reminds me...I have a change of clothes for you in my car. Lily's idea but probably a good one," he smiled at Gil.

Gil nodded. "Thanks."

They lingered a few minutes longer until Gil went back to Catherine. Jim brought in the clothes. After awhile, Lily went back to see her daughter and Gil came out to get the fresh attire. "They're moving her to her room now. You guys can see her in just a few minutes." He disappeared into the men's room and changed, bringing the bag back. Jim hurried it back to his car and returned in time to go with them to see Catherine.

She was happy to be surrounded by her family, Jim included. But she was also very tired, so they kept the visit short. After they left, she dozed off and Gil settled into another chair and waited.

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Thanks for all the reviews. They keep me going.


	11. Chapter 11

Her doctor came in with the neonatal pediatrician and their own. As the three doctors stood and explained, Gil and Catherine listened in fear. "I'm going to let Dr. Iverson explain things, " said her OB. "But Dr. McGill has been following the case and can also answer any questions you might have. Since Dr. McGill will be doing the follow up care after the twins leave the hospital, we thought it best that she be in from the beginning." Catherine squeezed Gil's hand at the fact that the twins would leave the hospital; that was good news.

"Okay, well...let's start with your daughter; Daryl, I believe?" Catherine nodded yes. "Well, of course, as a premmie, she is underweight and her lungs aren't as mature as we'd like them to be. We are assisting her with that with extra oxygen and she seems to be responding well. All of our initial screenings indicate that after a few weeks, perhaps only two, she will be ready to leave. I'm sure you will be happy to be able to take her home as soon as possible. You'll be able to see her and touch her in the incubator after we finish here and if she continues to do well, we'll let her out for short periods tomorrow so that you can hold and rock her. We believe that this early contact is vital for their progress."

Both parents were relieved at the good news but frightened by the implications for their son. All the good news seemed to be only about Daryl.

"As for your son," the doctor continued, "David. He is smaller than his sister and his lungs were not as far along. He needs more aggressive assistance with his breathing and will continue to need it for at least a few days. When you see him he will have tiny tubes in his nose that provide continous positive airway pressure, or CPAP as we call it. It is not a respirator but it does provide a continuous flow of air to keep the lungs expanded. We are also treating him with surfactant, a protein that keeps the small sacs in the lungs from collapsing. The condition is serious but very treatable and he is responding well. He also has retinopathy of prematurity or ROP. It is an abnormal growth in the blood vessels in the eyes and is not uncommon in premmies. Our pediatric opthalmologist has looked at him and believes it is a mild case and will heal on it's own. He will continue to monitor the situation and make any recommendations necessary if things change.

Both babies are jaundiced and both are anemic, although again...David's case is a little more pronounced than Daryl's. Neither situation is critical and we can clear those issues up easily while we are taking care of their other concerns. Obvioulsy David will have a longer stay in the hospital. For the first few days, they will be fed through tubes. We'll see how they do and go from there. I believe your estimate of 30 weeks was a little low and perhaps they were as far as 32 weeks along, which helps their situation considerably.

Let's see... oh, Daryl came into the world at 4 pounds, 3 ounces and David weighed in at 3 pounds, 9 ounces. Daryl has cried for us and I expect we'll hear the same from David soon. Both are grasping fingers, so feel free to let them hold onto you. You will be able to see their baby blues and Daryl might even stay awake and entertain you for a few miutes. David seems to be a little sleepy head still.

I'll be honest, their condition is serious, but the prognosis for survival for both of them is very good. David's eyes and lungs are of concern but we are on top of it and with a little luck, he'll grow up never knowing that there was a problem. As for other disabiliteis: we haven't run the full battery of tests yet. So far I don't see anything that indicates a severe mental disability but we are very early in the game. Their progress will need to be monitored for several years to fully determine if there are any learning or behavioral concerns resulting from their early arrival. Dr. McGill will walk you through that as necessary.

Overall, I'd like to reassure you. We're not out of the woods yet, but I am very optimistic about the future of your twins. We want you to spend a lot of time with them and do all the bonding things you would would normally do at home. It's going to be a rough first few weeks but in the end, I think the results will be good. Any questions that I can answer?"

Tears of relief ran down Catherine's cheeks. Gil stared thoughtfully at a speck on the wall as he digested the information. Finally he responded. "What are the risks of infections, since their lungs are vulnerable?"

Iverson seemed surprised by the question. "Obviously there is a risk. We'll take all the proper precautions and limit visitors until they are stronger. I can't promise it won't happen. Since his lungs are not as developed as Daryl's, David is at a higer risk. But let's just take things one at a time. I know you want to see your babies. And I think they could benefit from a visit. Are you ready?"

Both nodded in the affirmative. Gil helped Catherine from the bed and they slowly made their way down the hall. Around the corner, they found the doors that would soon become very familiar, the doors to the NICU. Inside they were given the cap, gown, and gloves that would be required for the next few days and then led to their twins. Catherine placed a hand on each of their plexiglass boxes when she saw them. Gil stood behind her, supporting her with his hands.

Dr. Iverson pulled a rocker close and invited Catherine to sit. The nurse carefully opened the door to Daryl's box and lifted the baby, gently transferring her to Catherine's waiting arms. Catherine carefully hugged her close and then relaxed her embrace enough for Gil to see. She was small and thin, her skin had a reddish hue. Movement was awkward, jerky. Her blue eyes filled her face as she peered in the general direction of her mother's face. Again, tears rolled down Catherine's cheeks. Gil gently stroked her tiny hand, marvelling at her fingers, so small and fragile. He kneeled next to Catherine and gently kissed her cheek. "Another girl to tug at my heart," he whispered to her. Catherine smiled into his eyes.

"Mr. Grissom, would you like to meet your son while Daryl and her mother get aquainted?"

The nurse showed him how to reach inside to touch David and then stepped back. Gil stood beside David's incubator and reached inside. He was so tiny. Gil's heart tightened at the sight of his tiny son. Very tenderly he stroked David's arm, which then jerked upwards as if reaching for his father. Gil touched his fingertip to his hand and David gripped it. His touch was feather light to Gil but sent waves of emotion through him. _How could a baby so tiny survive? _He wanted to hold his son but knew that they would have to wait, so he talked quietly to him instead. "Hi David," he said. "I'm your Dad. I know this all seems very strange to you...not nearly as warm and comfortable as your Mommy's tummy. Soon we'll be able to hold you and that'll feel better." Tears were forming in Gil's eyes and his voice was tight in his throat. "I love you, son." He began to pull his hand away and David began to jerk; then they all heard a tiny cry.

"I thought we might be hearing from him," said Dr. Iverson. "That's good...it takes lung power to cry."

Gil smiled but was reluctant to take his finger away. Catherine spoke softly, "Gil...trade.You come hold Daryl and let me see him, please."

Gil withdrew and turned to his girls. He took Daryl from Catherine and she stood, allowing him to sit in the rocker. She stepped toward David and slid her hand inside his chamber. While she stroked and caressed him, Gil stared into the eyes of his daughter. Her vision was still too immature to focus on his features but he sensed that she was aware of him.

Finally the doctor spoke. "We really should get Daryl back into her oxygen rich environment now. Let's let them get some rest and I'm sure thier mother could use some too. They'll be ready for another visit in a few hours. Gil handed his daughter to the nurse, who settled her into her box. He stood and stepped to Catherine. She had pulled her hand out but stood watching her son. "Cath, let's go for now. We'll come back in a little while."

"Yeah...okay." He steadied her as they made their way back to her room. Once she was settled back in the bed, she looked at her husband. "They are so small. They look so...so fragile."

"Yes, they do. " he agreed. "And the tubes that David has...they don't help. But he held my finger, Cath. He...knew me."

She smiled. "Well, I would hope so, as much as you sat and read to them while we were relaxing in the bed. He's probably wondering what buggie fact you're going to come up with next."

Gil smiled. "And Daryl...she's going to be beautiful, like you."

"Oh...she is, isn't she...going to be beautiful, I mean. I don't feel too beautiful at the moment, though."

Gil looked at her in awe. "Honey, you just gave me two precious gifts...the most precious thing a woman can give a man, children. As far as I'm concerned, you could never be more beautiful." He kissed her tenderly; a kiss filled with all the emotions he was feeling, all the love and gratitude that was washing over him. "I love you, Cath. You are the center of my universe, you know. And now we have three little satellites orbiting around you. And Lindsey, whose orbit seems to be expanding but will always be a part of you and so a part of me."

Catherine absorbed his words and settled back into her pillows as she watched his face. She saw his sincerity and felt his words. She had never felt more loved in her life. Nor had she ever felt like she could love another as much as she loved him in that moment. Rough days were ahead but because she had him, she knew she'd...no they all would make it through.

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More to come?


	12. Chapter 12

Days passed without any major events in the new life of the twins; good news when dealing with premmies. As predicted, Daryl seemed to be generally healthier and responded well to her treatment. David lagged behind, every milestone a hard fought one. Daryl had begun breast feeding within as few days; David continued to be fed through a tube. Daryl needed less and less oxygen for her breathing while David continued to need assistance. She began to gain a little weight; David fought to maintain his. They were able to hold her for longer and longer periods and still looked forward to the day when they would be able to cradle him in their arms.

A routine was developing. While Catherine held and fed Daryl, Gil would touch and caress David through the plexiglass, talking to him. Then, once Daryl was full, Gil would rock and burp her while Catherine fussed over her tiny son. Finally the day came when they were told that Daryl would be going home. As thrilled as they were with the news, it also saddened them since David would remain.

Lindsey and Mattie were excitedly waiting at home when GIi and Catherine arrived with their baby sister. Lindsey held her as Mattie examined her closely. Later, as Daryl nursed, Mattie watched in fascination. "Mommy?"

"Hmmm? What Mattie?"

"Did you feed me that way when I was a baby?"

"Yes, I did. But you were a very hungry boy so sometimes we used formula and fed you with a bottle."

"Oh." He watched a little longer and grew thoughtful. "Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetie..."

"I don't eat like that anymore."

"No, honey...you're too big. Only babies eat like this."

Mattie frowned and looked confused, an expression she loved on his father. "So Mommy, why do you feed Daddy like that?"

Catherine looked at her son, shocked. Struggling to respond she stuttered, "What?"

"Well, sometimes at night you feed Daddy. Like a bedtime snack."

_Oh my god..._"Gil," she called out.

The man in question came in from his study, a question on his face. "Yes, dear."

"Mattie has a question."

Gil looked from the wonderous sight of his two girls to the little guy, "you have a question, son?"

"Yeah," he looked up at his father. "Mommy says I ate like Daryl is eating when I was a baby. But she says I'm too big to eat like that now. So why do you get to eat like that?"

"Like a bedtime snack," Catherine smirked.

Gil's eyebrow shot up as he looked at his wife, his ears turning red. "Why do I get all these questions?"

"He's a boy...you're the man. Seems like you are in a better position to handle the questions. Unless you want to explain all those 'girlie things' to your daughter in a few years?"

It was his turn to smirk. "Will I still be able to remember all those 'girlie things' in a few years?"

She had a playful glint in her eyes as she replied, "Oh yeah, you can bet your...um...tush on it."

Smiling he motioned to Mattie. "Come on son,we'll let the girls have some time together and you and I can do some man talking."

Mattie jumped up to follow his Dad. He liked man talk. Once they were back in the study, Gil sat with Mattie on the futon. "So, what was the question?" Gil hoped that Mattie had forgotten but of course, he hadn't.

"You're all growd up and you still snack on Mommy, like Daryl eats. But she says I'm too big. If I'm too big for Mommy to feed me, then why do you snack on Mommy?"

Gil was squirming, searching for a suitable answer. "Well, son...Daryl is getting her nourishment from Mommy..." _Now what? _"Just like you did when you were a baby. _So how do I explain what I'm doing with her?_ "But, um..." he shifted in his seat. "Well, that's not why I ...um...cuddle..._yeah, that's a good word for it..._ yeah, when I cuddle with Mommy at night, sometimes...well, we get very close. I suppose it might look like I'm ...um...it might seem that Mommy is feeding me." He could feel his face blushing. "But we're just snuggling. But the thing is Mattie, um well, only Mommies and Daddies get to cuddle that closely. It's considered to be a very special cuddle between married people." _Hah...okay, maybe he'll stop there..._

"But you are kind of kissing her when you cuddle and it looks like you're sucking like Daryl does."

_He's not letting me out of this..._ "It does? Well, I love your Mom so much, I suppose I get carried away. But Mattie, that kind of cuddling really is just for married people. It's very private and not something you so with anyone else."

Mattie looked at his father thoughtfully, his brow furrowed and his lips pursed. "Okay...so I really am too big for Mommy to feed me like that?"

Gil tilted his head and looked at the boy."Yes...you are."

A huge smile burst out on his face. "I'm a big boy!" he exclaimed.

Gil smiled as he reached over and ruffled Mattie's hair, "yes, you are a very big boy."

Mattie scrambled off the futon and disappeared through the door. Gil followed and sat next to Catherine on the couch. Daryl was finishing her meal and Catherine was lifting her to burp her. He teased Catherine's hair with his fingers and then gently stroked his baby daughters head. Catherine smiled at him, a knowing expression in her eyes. Her expression mirrored his feelings. This was one of those cherished moments in their lives, one that would replay again and again in thier minds. Neither spoke, afraid to lose the magic of the moment, each feeling uniquely one with the other; connected through this tiny child as well as through the larger one with so many questions and the one who rested in the hospital.

Their moment was broken by the little one with all the questions. "When will David come home? I miss him."

Catherine was amused by his 'missing' David. Mattie hadn't been allowed in the NICU since he was a walking germ factory, according to the doctors. They brought pictures home almost everyday and Mattie always wanted reports on his baby brother's progress. He was looking forward to a playmate.

"We hope soon," said Gil. "He's getting stronger."

"Good, 'cause I'm the big brother and there's things he needs to learn from me." he stated proudly.

"But Mattie," his mother grinned at him, "what about Daryl? You're her big brother too."

"Yeah, and I''ll teach her some things too. But David'll need me to teach him all the guy stuff."

"Isn't that your Dad's job, to teach you boys all the guy stuff?"

"Well, yeah...but now that I'm a big boy, I can help him teach David." His face beamed with enthusiasm as he crawled onto the couch, nestling between his parents.

"And I'm sure you'll be a good teacher too, Mattie, " said Gil as he pulled his four year old big boy into his lap, wrapping him in warmth and love with his arms.

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Still doing okay? Love good comments but need to hear the bad ones too. Reviews keep the juices flowing and they seem to be waning. So, I find myself wondering if I should just move on...


	13. Chapter 13

Gil and Catherine arrived at the hospital the next morning to visit with David. As they approached him, they could see that there had been a change in the night. Dr. Iverson appeared almost immediatly to explain. "David had a rough night. He has developed a mild case of pneumonia. Luckily one of the nurses caught it early and we were able to get a course of antibiotics going quickly. He seems to be doing better now, but he's still weak and tired. It's a small set back, but one that he seems to be weathering."

Panic had set in with both parents at the word pneumonia but their fears were subsiding as the doctor's words sank in. They'd had a scare but things were already better. "Why weren't we notified?" asked Gil.

"It was late and we knew we had it under control. We thought it best to let you rest."

Anger was replacing fear in Gil. "You should have called us. We are his parents, we should have been here. Let me be clear, whenever anything happens, we get a call!" His normally calm, quiet voice was just a notch below shouting. Even Catherine was surprised but the ferocity behind his statement.

Dr. Iverson took the outburst in stride. Actually he thought the Grissoms, him in particular, had been almost too calm through the whole ordeal. He was glad to see Gil letting some of his fear and frustration out, even of it meant the doctor bore the brunt of it. "One piece of news that I know you'll be happy to hear; the opthalmologist stopped by earlier and could find no signs of the ROP. Little David's eyes are just fine. He gets a clean bill of health from Dr. Gundersen."

Catherine broke into a huge grin at the news. Gil relaxed as a wave of relief swept over him. "Thanks Doc," he said as he resumed his normal placidness. "And I'm sorry about barking at you...it's just that..."

"I understand. Both of you have been under a lot of stress. It has to come out sometime. The important thing is that David is okay. And he's getting better all the time, even with this set back. Once the pneumonia is cleared up, it might be time to start talking about sending him home."

"Really?" a smiling Catherine asked.

Iverson smiled back, "really. Now, would you like to hold your son?"

"It's okay...I mean, he doesn't have to be in his bed?" she asked.

"No, the drugs are working. And he's breathing all on his own now. He's strong enough to spend a few minutes being fussed over."

Catherine sat in the rocker, tears resting in her eyes as the nurse handed her son to her for the very first time. Gil kneeled next to her, needing to touch his youngest child. "Feels good, doesn't it David? To be held in your Mommy's arms."

Catherine's glistening eyes looked into Gil's own moist ones. She hugged her son closely to her and then said to Gil, "here, let's trade. Your son wants his Daddy."

The tears that had been sitting in Gil's eyes broke free and ran down his cheeks as they traded places. His secret fear had been that he would never get to hold David, at least not while the child was breathing. Somehow Cath had known that and understood his need to hold his son now. The little guy was so light in his arms but joy flowed through the father as the baby squirmed and stretched. Then his little blue eyes opened and looked up towards Gil. The two stared at each other until Gil glanced over to Catherine. "He's beautiful."

"Yes, he is...just like his Dad,"she said.

Gil nodded negativly. "No, he has his mother's eyes."

Finally the nurse signaled that it was time to put him back in his bed. Once there, she reconnected the little IV tube that supplied the meds he needed. They lingered a few minutes, watching him as he squirmed and wiggled before finally settling into sleep. Once they had passed through the NICU doors, walking hand in hand, Gil pulled Catherine into a hug. He leaned into the wall, his back pressed against it as he held her tightly. She relaxed into his arms, understanding that his emotions were overwhelming for him and he needed her support. "Gil," she spoke softly, "he's okay...and he's getting better. And we got to hold him, finally."

"Yeah," came his muffled reply as he spoke into her neck. "I was just so scared when we first saw him... he looked so...sick."

"Yeah, I know." She pulled her head back and looked into his eyes, stroking his face. "But he's okay and he's going home soon." She smiled, "he's coming home, Gil."

He smiled back at her, "Yeah." Taking her hand, he turned and they walked out, heading home themselves.

David recovered from the pneumonia. A week later, Dr. Iverson told them that there was one last series of screenings and tests to run and depending on those results, they start preparing to send David home. The excitement around the Grissom house was palpable. Lindsey asked everyday if this was the day. Mattie was in hyperdrive and driving everyone crazy. Lily, while more subdued, was equally eager. Catherine was giddy and Gil found he had difficulty concentrating on anything but preparations for David's homecoming. He found himself babbling to Daryl several times about how they would soon be reunited. Even Daryl seemed to sense something big was about to happen.

Catherine and Gil were at the hospital for an evening visit when Dr. Iverson came in. "Glad you are here, " he said. They looked at him, hoping he'd give the okay for David's release. Instead he looked serious. "We need to talk."

Gil frowned. This wasn't sounding good. Catherine tensed. "Let's sit down," he gestured towards some chairs in the corner. They sat, Gil watching him intently. "We completed the screenings this afternoon. And there's one area of concern that we need to discuss." He paused, not wanting to tell them what he had to say. "Preliminary tests indicate that David is partially deaf."

Catherine's eyes immediately went to Gil. Her concern was for him at the moment, even more than for her son. He was horror stricken. His mouth was open, anguish washing over his face. The word 'deaf' ringing in his ears. "No,...no...no..." was his only response. Catherine looked back at the doctor. "Do you know why?" she asked.

He had expected a strong reaction. He was not prepared for Gil's, however. He was watching the man crumble at the news. Catherine continued, "Deafness ...is a trait in Gil's family. He contended with it himself a few years ago. Surgery alleviated his situation but his mother was deaf."

The doctor nodded in understanding. "It's very possible that this is not genetic. Sometimes this happens with premmies, for various reasons; about a third of hearing impairment in premmies is non-genetic. It will be a few months before we can do the testing to get to the cause but during that time we can also formulate a plan to help David's development. But an ENT can cover this much better than I can. Do you know of a pediatric ENT or would you like me to refer you to one?"

Gil seemed to be coming out of his shock. "You said partially...how much impairment are we talking about?"

"As you can imagine, definitive evaluations are difficult in newborns. But we estimate 80-90 per cent loss in the left ear. About 70 per cent in the right one. Some sound is getting through but it is muffled and garbbled."

Gil was nodding. He understood all too well. "Ah...we would appreciate any names you'd like to reccommend and I'll also consult with my ENT. She's fmiliar with my condition and if it genetic, she'll know who best to treat it." He clsoed his eyes as grief washed over him.

Iverson shook his head in agreement. "Well, other than the hearing impairment, everything looks good. Let's plan on David going home the day after tomorrow." He smiled, knowing that at least that would be welcome news.

Their excitement was dampened by his other news, but they were happy that finally their family would all be together. They visited with David, alternately holding him. Catherine noticed that Gil was having a hard time looking at him. She knew that he was feeling guilty for David's disability. Her heart ached for both of them. Life was going to be a challenge for David and if his deafness was genetic, Gil would have a hard time forgiving himself. One good thing for David was that Gil would understand his difficulties better than most parents. She just hoped that the condition was one that was treatable and that it wasn't genetic. She wanted the best for both of her guys.

Gil was very quiet on the drive home. Catherine reached across the front seat and rested her hand on his thigh. He covered her hand with his but said nothing. Once they were home, he disappeared into his study. She got lIndsey and Lily to help her get Mattie and Daryl settled in for the night and she went to talk with her husband. He was stretched out on his couch, his arm over his eyes as if he had a migraine. The lighting was dim and the room quiet. "Gil," she spoke softly, "you have a headache?"

He lifted his arm and looked at her. "No, just thinking."

"About David?"

"Yeah...I look on the internet about the possible causes for his impairment, besides the obvious one. Iverson was right, they don't always knwo what casues it in premies. There are tests that help find the causes at earlier ages and treatments for the babies. Or if there isn't an effective treatment, education can begin early, increasing the child's ability to communicate."

"Gil, it's not your fault. Even if it is genetic. Besides deaf or not, he's alive and he's coming home. It could have been so much worse."

He sat up and she sat next to him. He put his arms around her and pulled her close. "Yeah, I know. And I keep reminding myself that it is a miracle that he's with us at all, but it just caught me off guard. Everything seemed to be going so well."

"And it's still good. You know, Gil...David's a very lucky little boy." Gil frowned and looked at her quizzically. "How many hearing impaired children born to hearing parents have a father who understands exactly what they are dealing with?"

He pursed his lips and considered her words. "Not exactly. I was hearing and then losing my hearing. But I was never completely deaf."

"But you grew up with it with your mother. And while you never completely lost your hearing, you had enough of a taste to know how it is. You'll be a good teacher for him."

"Hmm, I'd rather just teach him to play baseball." He sighed.

"There'll be time for that too," she smiled.

"Yeah," he tried to smile. "That and other things too."

They brought David home as scheduled. Everyone was excited and took turns fussing over and holding him. Even Daryl seemed to sense that it was a big day. Mattie sat on the couch next to Catherine and she carefully put David in his small arms. She supported him, but gave Mattie a few minutes to bond with his brother. Mattie sat and stared into the tiny eyes. "Don't worry David, I'm going to teach you eveything you need to know. I'll already know it though because I'm a big boy. But one day, you'll be a big boy like me."

Gil was watching the scene from across the room_. Yeah Mattie, you are growing into a big boy. And I suppose I'm finally becoming one too. _

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_Thanks for reading. And many thanks to those who reviewed, it keeps me going. I have plans for future Mattie stories, hopefully not as long as this one. _


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